The devil smiles at me...where is my words he says...I look in me for what I could possibly say that will appease him....the white ship sails tonight...only during the night...the heat keeps him resting during the light...when he closes his eyes...we are free...free to smile that happy smile and think of nothing that harms...but awake he is again...flying by the miles...one more.....miles...another...you ask....what percent...60....70...80....I don't know anymore...was 100....then 80....then 10...now...up but invisible...my eyes devil...are still closed...afraid to open them because the truth lies right on the lashes...I don't want to see it any longer...good or bad....honest as the evil you hold...you believe that the truth is what you say...but to those you speak to...it is...but to those who listen...dies...I can't give you words you want to hear.......you know too much...you....know it all.

I write and I think...hoping to get it from within....no secrets....no place to hide.............I hate to think that I am no longer allowed that privilage....I want to have something of my own...yet...no one lets me...is not my mind.....MINE? Do I have to share everything I do and be questioned for everything I say? I am tired of feeling like a prisoner in my own thinking....creative as it is.....It belongs to me........I will never stop...and for those who think that what I say is theirs..................go on and leave me...........I will not let you be here in my thoughts any more............you have taken too much already from me........let me grow old and be somewhat happy in my thoughts....THIS IS FOR ME!

Up and down the ride takes me...over blind curves and around sharp turns....the puppets jump out and surprise us...we scream..smile...laugh....keep going...more rounds and a loop...upside down I go....seeing the world as it is seen by God...I smile down and know that I am here...happy and alive...feeling that spledid euphoria of pleasure from a smile...make me laugh more...not understanding why such an unsure path of this ride is so wonderful...but knowing that it was free...I grip onto the safety there....both hands......one hand..now...no hands...it is refreshing..feeling the wind in my hair...the air in my mouth...fresh and clean.....can I speak of this? I want to but know that for now...the ride is over and the line is long... I wait again...until my turn comes again....with a smile.

Yesterday was 6/6...last year...6/6/06.....was D-day also...in a different way...and you know...I sat there...remembering...looking through the window...I see me...coming in as you did...the hug...the drink...the time...the talk...the memory...and now...one year later...loke....LOKE...I am in awe over this time...I grok you...I grok this time...I grok the excuses...I grok it all...I am now one of the history...but...you still like the mind...keeping you company when no one else is around...I grok...and I see that I still want to be...so I am...python to my monty....we will be this...friends...come to the conclusion........I am merely a visit...a time....a friend..I am good with that...finding emotions too wild...to crazy to deal...I raise my drink to you...The Silver Surfer....the universe is calling...cheers on this D-Day....6606

how can I be so stupid...