Ok now I am really beginning to wonder about myself....Am I some sort of magical being? As I do each night before sleep...the kind that I lay down and toss and turn thinking about what I need to do, say, go to, write, not write, forgot, wish, dream, oh well you get the idea.....I call a friend of whom is going thru a rough time in his life and I check in on him to make sure he is ok for the day. So after chatting with a duck..and pretty close to fall asleep myself...quack quack...very smart duck too....I call my friend whom I now dub....Sir Snore-a-lot....and he is telling me of the trials he has had from the day..and I start yet again into a speech of what is really good in the world and what is great about the situation of which he finds none...and I ask him a question..what can I do right now that will make you smile....simple question really...a joke...a story...going away...hehehe you know, something simple....and I get no answer..so here I say...."hello?" and again...nothing...now going through my mind..I am thinking..."oh no not again".....repeating myself, again.."hello?"..."are you awake, are you sleeping again Sir Snore-a-lot?" As if he is going to answer if he was.......I roll my eyes and I make a sort of giggle/snort....I think he is..all I can hear is the television in the backround and nothing else........I really strain to listen..there it is...breathing of the snoring type and it is not really funny this time even though I have a huge smile on my face... I go out to my couch and sit and listen again for about 15 mins or so...content with my progress with this person..do to the fact that some of the troubles of late have been causeing sleepless nights...so I try to something different and just hang up the phone...and then immediatly the phone rings...and I answer with "hello?" and nothing..then I listen and guess what I hear.....Sir Snore-a-Lot is on the phone again..but he is still sleelping..I am wondering how he called back if he is asleep....oh no...I have call waiting/3way calling and the phone called me back because it thought I hung up on the person..so I tried again..damn..again it called me back...I tried 5 more times...and 5 more times this sleeping man calls me back...so what am I to do now..I am soooo tired and now I am laughing so hard I am crying...fungus bungus is attacking me now...I lay on the couch with the phone proped up to my ear..listening to my friend to see if he is going to wake up...and eventually fall alseep myself..and then sometime during the night..my phone battery died..and I was able to hang it up without a call back...what a life....I was hoping that he would wake up too...hang his up..and in morning I would be able to hang up phone and not get a call back..so far nothing...hehehe...I am going to call him back here soon and laugh...or I mean discuss it hehehe..have a wonderful day everyone...peace to your soul...I found mine last night too.

Last night before "my" breakdown..I was on the phone with a friend who was going through a really difficult time...as I always do, I began my positive workup to make him happy and to think better of the situation and perhaps smile. As I was in my 15 minute speech of life in general and life is good, God is great talk....I hear an odd sound...is that snoring??? It was indeed. My friend was in fact asleep. Now I know I am boring...but come on....instead of hanging up or yelling "hey you" I just sat and listened to him sleep.The feeling I got was so strange. It made me feel at peace. He was really going through a hard time and he was so upset that he was unable to sleep for 2 nights also..sound familiar? And I was happy that I was able be there to witness the peace he found. I listened for about 30 minutes..I was laying down in my own bed with my eyes closed and I was thinking too about what was on my mind...(previous blog) and could not seem to find that same peace. Suddenly noise at his home awoke him and he started to talk as if he had never stopped. I told him he had fallen asleep and he said that he was just listening to me and my voice just soothed him to sleep. He remembered listening and then that was it...so we continued to talk about things...and again after about 10 minutes...I heard the snoring again...now I laugh to myself...my voice is not that good...God I could make a fortune on baby toys that sound like a soothing mom or something...anyway..again my curious mind listened...this time about 45 minutes..now you wonder why I stayed and listened...I was alone, all kids were asleep, husband at work...nothing to do but listen really..it was giving me a peace that I could not find on my own...something like the counseler being counseled...so this time when he awoke..I told him to go to bed...I came out here and wrote my last blog and I went to bed and slept till 10 am in the morning...Now that was peace.

Here I am at a little after 4 am in the morning and due to my lovely cold that will not let me start my Monday of the year...I am up yet again...not being able to stay sleepling. So I came to read my fellow bloggers...and I began to think about something odd that I do...(like that is any big surprise...I am blond) and my children really think it is funny...I am a squirrel. What I mean is this...I often wear things with pockets...and I have a habit of picking up things and putting them in my pockets...thus..by the end of the day..my pockets are so full of "found" items that they are bulging...hence the nickname...squirrel. I go to my room before bed and unload them onto my mattress and look through this little pile of stuff and pick out what is important and what is trash..and put away the things that need to be put away..trash the rest...and then morning comes..I begin again on my new cashe of wonderful goodies..hey..sometimes I even find a quarter hehe...

WOW...I am honored by you Ron...I have always tried to inspire and I guess when It happens in such a beautiful way...I am speechless and flattered. I actually had to read it over again..what I wrote...I was explaining more what I saw and wanted words that were better...I didn't think that it was explained well enough for anyone to understand the way I saw it...I thank you for the understanding that you have with my words...I have told you from the beginning that you are a wonderful writer...I will follow your words where ever you take them...yes.....peace in your soul Ron...peace and wisdom to write more of these poetic little eyes of beauty reflection....I will take a picture of my wings if I ever get the chance to..share them with you as you have shared the wings of yours...beautiful picture to go with wonderful words..again...thank you...

We live on little islands of recognition in and ocean of uncertainty...I read this in the blog of another and remembered it now...inarticulate yearnings....we all have those..I have a vision of water on the lake I walk by every day..when the wind blows hard across it..the water makes a fan like feathered angel wing over and over..but it never touches the other side....I have been trying to find the perfect words to express it..but some of us are telling of words..others are writers of words..you are a writer..I am a teller...I too have had those moments of quiet screams in the lone world around me...To look around and see that no one is there...why were you screaming..if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound if no one is there to hear....I hear...I listen...but sounds don't come...only more questions...more yearnings....peace Ron