What of this is mine?
I seek but never really find.
Once I was there with you...
now it is gone to the many...
the water that separates us...
the roads between time....
what is this you think I want?
Of course...
it is not you.

It sits here calling to me...every day...I peek into the sides and see the sand and debris that it holds....the flotsam of my dreams...I grab it and want to throw it...but look at it again...shake it with fury...let it settle watching the clouds disappear....new pieces come to the top...new items floating....does this mean ever changing thoughts will always end up being clear but the same? I look at the bottle....tell me what this means..

The devil is knocking his ship to mine....he aches to share...I ache to know..."tell me"...I say looking down at the glass mirror of water...who are you..I ask the women I see...she just looks back with her graying eyes...no words can be spoken of a ghost...the devil speaks...sharing his numbers...one tear...another...but that is all I have left for you...the pain of knowing is just not there anymore...this was a test for me...to see what? What is it that you wanted....I think...and wonder...I guess truth has been coming this past few days and more is needed to show me reality is among the clouds that surround my mind..."Thank you for telling me" I say to the devil...his smug smile shows me that it hurts him none to be so bold...."why did you want to know?" he says..I don't want to know...I want to be able to leave and this is a way of seeing if I am holding onto something dangerous for nothing...but I cannot share now...."I want to know who you are" I say...the honesty to my words are real...break a small piece of you off of my soul...soon...there will be none left.. I allow you to take me...bleed me...I am drying up...I look again at the ghost of gray..."you must" she tells me..."he is killing you"..I say to her again...."he is the devil...that is his job"...she looks behind me...he is there...his arms around me....turning me to him..."You are my Eve of no other....the countless others make no difference of you..."...that is not why I ask....."that is not why you had to tell me..." I say as I push on him..."remove your hands from me...I don't want you.."...he smiles...he is gone....

"wait...tomorrow I will tell you more...and you will listen...."

damn you devil...Make me hate you...Make me...."MAKE ME!!!" I scream to the clouds...

" I have been..you are the one who won't go" he says as his ship disappears in the distance....

I settle in for the long journey home. I am finally free of the devil…the smile on my face is that of sadness but in my heart it was best to walk away from him…knowledge of the mind…the mechanics of what is working in there…I know that the devil is jut too dangerous for me. I look around at the water and see the glistening of the sun across the ripples…I lay back…my eyes slowly closing to the warmth on my flesh…this is freedom….

I awoke…something…what…who…I sit up and look around…sensing him…looking around for evidence of truth…around my arm I feel weight…I look…there it is….a price..I try to rip it from its place only to find that it is solid in place and not to be taken away…I sit again….placing my hand against the water…the mirror of a hand comes to greet mine…”See you soon, devil…” the hand disappears…I move mine to my face…”I will miss you I think” I say and tears roll down my cheeks. I touch my fingers to the wetness…this was so incredible I think….this was everything I had ever expected…but reality is here…going home…becoming again…I lay my head against the side of the boat…weeping again…”Thank you…thank you for all of this…”…I fade off to slumber…

Night after night I sailed…night after night I thought of you. I looked at the price…the bows of diamond…the riches of kings…and more…they are clouded now….what are they I wonder….days….months….and there you are again…your ship is there…I see it…but suddenly it is gone…I call to you….over and over but no answer…I call to the sea only to hear that you are safe…but tell me…what is this?..you come back…your nature is there again…almost a human…”I have to go now” you say..”I am moving on…away…you go home…be..do…thou art mother…wife…woman”…I know…I sadly say to myself…”you are my dream”…I whisper…I am there…on the land…no longer at sea…I fall to the sand…there is no more tears in me to cry…I am empty…the diamond bows and kings gold shimmer in the sunlight…the clouds are darkened and unrecognizable…

Time goes by…days….months…years…I look back and wonder where you are…I reach out to you from my heart..and you answer me….”I have been waiting for you…My Eve..…I must tell you that I have not traveled alone…I have welcomed more….but knows that you are my Eve..of all Eve’s…I shall not answer again…go..be free of me..” I look up and smile…”you release me? of all the times…” I hold up the price…what is this you draped on me…why can’t I see them?”…the devil walked up and wrapped his rigid hands around my price…looked me in the eye….”I set you free…I don’t need you anymore. I gave up a long time ago wanting you…I only needed you for my mind…but my mind is better…my spirit was healed from your grace…can’t you feel that I took all of you?”….my hands went to my arms…he released me…there shinning in the light…I was dripping in Aqua Marine…for each diamond…for each stone…that was one life we shared…he was gone….this time I did find the tears….they were of sadness of a loss….not of a gain…but what did I lose?...

When composure came to me I stepped out into the sun again….my price was loose and felt less barring…I held my arm out over the sea…and it fell off to the water..losing one light of diamond….one stone of Marine…deeper and deeper…”you are gone” I whisper…You are gone I think….”Are you gone?” I question…..

“you know THAT will never be………” reaching out of the water…my devil…”keep me with you forever…I need you to keep me forever…”….

“Yes….yes my devil…I will keep you forever…your price is not too much to bear”…I lie…

This…never dies…as I sit dripping in Aqua Marine…

Gathering together..you and I...I fall into your arms. I know you are not what I dream of but you are so full of passion and desires..I look at you and I want to love you...I whisper....I have missed you...he smiles...I have missed you also...our lips meet and deepen...hands glide across bodies...clothes fall away..take your hand and guide you to the bed. I lay across the sheets...you follow me and caress my body...my skin. Your kisses flow across my flesh and leave heated wetness..suddenly you are there...When you look into my eyes...when you are over me..sliding into my heat...do you feel passion? Love? Look at me..feel what I give you...this is the moment of life...of love...oh baby...he says as he moves...his motions faster and faster...I look up at you...forcing eyes to stay open and looking into yours....I can love you I think...I could fall in love with this moment...........................the water is heated...it runs on your skin...I come in after you...standing behind you...my hand reaching around touching...stroking...you turn suddenly...kissing me deeply...a stream of heat flows down my leg...I kiss you more...you turn again....this time more forcing...I move my hands...one on your throat...holding your head up...my body up against yours...pushing you to the wall...the water flowing still over us both...again...your release...my mouth falls to your neck...my movements measured...wanting...you turn again and I can feel you kissing my neck...I melt and go weak...you speak...."ohh..I want you..."...I break...turn you...form my close connection with our bodies....take you again...and a forth...my hand moves down your throat to your chest....I whisper...." I could fall in love with this moment...I can love you I think"...he turns and takes me into his arms...."I think you do already"...................we are together in the bed...softness drying our skin...his arms around me...I roll to look at him...kissing...He whispers...."don't love me now"..I look at him....he smiles....I know what he means...I close my eyes....

I wake and I am alone...I dream of you I think to myself....I meet you every night in my dreams and you always tell me not to love you yet...I fear that if I do...you will no longer come to me...for then you would have fulfilled my dreams....and you want my touch forever.....