The devil calls to me this night..."Come to me Eve". I look around and all the water is filled, but he points only to one...me..."You are the one I need tonight"..my flesh rises and falls with the blood flowing under.."Yes, of course, I will come." My eyes fill with tears...they will fall on you this night I say, they will make you one with me. The night falls and we meet in the middle of the sea...his great white ship and my small simple boat...floating side by side. I float up to the devil..standing now by his side. "Do you understand what it is that I am, what I do, who I am?"...I look down at the water, seeing all the other souls floating there...smiling..shaking their heads...holding their hearts to the devil...."Yes, I do understand now." His hand takes mine and I float into his world...he lays upon the softness of slumber and I am there...naked as he...my tears become real...landing on his chest...sinking in..they smolder against his body...my hand goes and replaces the tear with touch...his eyes open to look deep in mine..."You know what this means don't you?"...I look up..at the face I see in the mirror...there is no tears...no fear...a smile...a wicked smile to replace all that I have felt..."This is what I am...on the list of life...Eve of another." I look at him now..."I am...you are...thou art.." he took my mouth. It was so complete...he took his time finding every space his tongue could reach...I lost my breath. Pulling away...I looked into his eyes. They were human...they were so deep with color of nature...color of life..but I knew in my heart that he was nothing of either. He looked at me again...."Eve...my sweet Eve...I take you now...as I do all others...because you make me want you but I do not...I fear you because you know me too well...Eve...my sweet sweet Eve..this is your last chance"...he turned and looked at the door...my senses were aware of what I wanted...my body could feel what he was offering...the sensations of evil melting away from the heat we shared...I looked up again....spoke to my heart...You want this don't you? My eyes clouded in the mirror...yes...I knew that I did. I grok you now I thought...I Know that what you do and what we are...the nest is yours to make light...I looked down again at the devil...his eyes red with passion..."come to me" he said in a deep tone...I closed my eyes...lost one tear....opened them again...."Wait!...No...Noooo...how can I do this? I want to feel your passion...your desires...I want you to touch my soul and make me lose...but I will lose you.."...he looked at me confused....and suddenly he was gone...I looked around surprised at this event. He was no where to be found...I curled up into myself...head on my knees..."Am I so unwanted? "...his words came to me in my head...."yes...you are wanted..and feared...go now...."...I got up...dressed...floated to my small ship...looking up now...the devil was there..."you are poor...your soul is much to faint...I will destroy you"...I sat, looked out over the water....and thought..."isn't that what you always do?"...he looked down harder..."I take what I can't have...You are Eve like all others...but you are special...I will always want you...know that..."...so I start to move away...My regret would be that I had to feel your kindness...you are evil and harm my world...but your kindness makes me feel something for you that I don't want...I grok you devil...you are need and desire...evil and darkness...life and death...yes yes...sail away to your destinations...take your souls...remember my touch...it will never be again I promise...I will not fall for your magic again...

He smiles as he feels this...

You always do...My sweet sweet Eve!

Someone told me that we should put in our will a message to everyone we want to really know what we feel....I ponder this and I think that I will start my message here...for I have a long way to go before I die and a lot of people to leave messages to...

I begin....

Dad:
I leave you with one thought that I keep asking myself..."How come I was not your little girl?"
I grew up without you...making mistakes and losing out on a wonderful life with you...alive and there...but untouchable...you should have tried...I needed you. I have my own family now...I know what it takes for them to be happy...but even they lack you. Your anger took you away...your life kept you away...your death...I do not know when it will come...or if I will know...but I hope that I will get to say goodbye since you never gave me the option before...

To that boy who hit the glass:
I know what I did was wrong...but so too what you did...one evil for another...I regret what happened...but you should have known that there would be a punishment...I hope your life was better than mine...as you deserved to be forgiven..as did I..you altered me none...I just thought I would allow this message to stay in the open...be happy in life...the boy that hit the glass..

To my grandfather:
I wish that before you died you would have shared your mind. I needed more than anyone was offering and here you had it for me the whole time. My need was great and you saw that I wanted someone to care...I just wish I had known you were watching over me...I miss you so.

Grandma:
I knew you as a child and you were amazingly funny...I get so much from your character. I never got to see you as the adult I became, but somehow I believe what you gave me ended because adults need to live reality...laughter was always key with you....always full of life...there is no repeating your youth...but..I am glad that I had you to help me see that reality and life can blend so very well...

Once again…the waiting lay waiting…the innocent are still….the time…has past…and you…are gone. The trickery of lies becomes so genuine that you curl your shoulders and plan the death...

I woke from a dream…slowly opened my eyes and felt you there. “How did you get in?” I asked as my eyes blinked the clouds out. “I am always here.” He replied as he pulled me up into his arms. Relaxed, laying in his lap, his arm cradling my head….the other brushing my cheek…I felt the power rush over me. I knew that the fight was almost over…the moment would be soon…”You are my sadness…you are my fear..” I say in a most quiet voice..”you are my tears…you are my weakness”…I glanced up and saw his eyes…smiling down into mine…his lips looked soft…I felt them begging for mine….suddenly they were there….enveloping mine…the softness exploding with my tender touch…the swirling of tongues…the fire flows to my neck…I arch and moan…I hear his low tender groans of want…they make me shiver…I open my eyes again…my eyes widen with shock…you are not my heart…You are the devil……I scream, but your mouth takes mine so no sound leaves me…I fight to be released but you have control. I give up since it is taking my energy….you remove your lips…smile…”you know there is nothing more you can do…I have taken everything…” his smile gives more…”you have not taken everything…I have much to keep” I say as breathless as if air was no longer mine…his long fingers with ragged nails scrapes along my face…”ahh…you are right….but there have been so many others that I feel I have taken everything…I have a piece of you with each soul…I captured you long ago and do not plan on letting you go..” I close my eyes as he spoke, picturing what he was telling me….a tear ran down my face….”yes…I know…but why me? Why do I have to go along for this…why do I have to feel this?” my body felt as if it was on fire….he put his hand on my chest and I felt the flames go into him…taking some of the pain from my flesh…”I need you..I need you to be here when I need something of reality..” He admitted a truth…he released his hand from my body and the fire came back to me…he let me go and I stood…face to face with the devil…his smile shown no teeth…as they were fanged and fierce. “I am the devil, I need you…” he said with no change in his expression….I blinked….”What?” My ears could not understand what blew through…”You need me?”…incredulous…”you take from me…you kill me…you ignore me…you torture me…and you say you NEED ME?” My eyes filled with blood…”…ahh…yes…you are the strongest of them all…and yet…the weakest…I take you” He was suddenly gone…I looked around, spinning on my heal back and forth..my hands in the air…screaming…”Save me!”

I woke up in a sweat…everything was dark. 4 am…my face was covered in wetness…not sweat…but tears…how realistic that dream was I thought. I went to wash my face off so I could attempt to sleep…I looked up into the mirror…there along my cheek was a long….thin…..scratch…..I screamed……………

Yesterday was it...2 years..Seems like it is still fresh. Seems the accident was not an accident but in fact an attempt of murder...but failed. Not only did Superman live...I became the patsy...now London calls to my flying friend...taking him away again. I will always know you Superman...you have been my hero!

Nothing can kill you in my heart..